"Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want." 
-Clive Barnes- 

"Trust in Allah, but tie your camel." 
-Arabian Proverb- 

"How would you like it if you were sitting in your office and you made one little mistake. Suddenly, a big red light went on and 18,000 people jumped up and started screaming at you, calling you a bum and an imbecile and throwing garbage at you. That's what it's like when you play goal in the NHL." 
-Jacques Plante, goaltender, Montreal, on what it's like to play goaltender in the NHL- 

"No explanation ever explains the necessity of making one." 
-Elbert Hubbard- 

"I have heard that in ancient times
human beings lived
to the age of a hundred.
In our time,
we are exhausted
at the age of fifty.
Is this because of
changes in the circumstances,
or is it the fault of men?" 
-Su Wen, 4500 B.C.- 

"All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few." 
-Stendhal- 

"An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger." 
-Dan Rather- 

"Scandal is gossip made tedious with morality. 
-Oscar Wilde- 

"As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. 
-Hunter S. Thompson's Attorney- 

"Only two things are infinate, the universe and human stupidity. And I am not sure about the former." 
-Albert Einstien- (submitted by JoeTheSaxMan) 

"Nothing can be made fool proof, because fools are so ingenious." 
-Murphy's Laws- (submitted by JoeTheSaxMan) 

"Some people just need a good kick in the ass to get something in to their head..." 
-RazielsAgony- (submitted by RazielsAgony) 

"The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money." 
-Mark Twain- 

"Life without a friend is death without a witness." 
-Spanish Proverb- 

"Those who cannot forgive others break the bridge over which they themselves must pass." 
-Confucius- 

"Only with a new ruler do you realize the value of the old." 
-Burmese Proverb- 

"Rule No. 1 is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule No. 2 is, it's all small stuff." 
-Robert Eliot- 

"A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air." 
-Walter Winchell- 

"Every horse thinks its own pack heaviest." 
-Thomas Fuller- 

"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." 
-Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach- 

"If at first you don't succeed, well, so much for skydiving." 
-Victor O'Reilly-