 "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living.
The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
"Don't mistake lack of talent for genius"
"Stress is when your gut says, 'no way' and your
mouth says 'sure, no problem'."
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change, the strength to change those I can, and the wisdom to
hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they really pissed
me off."
"We do not believe in ourselves until someone
reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of
our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk
curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the
human spirit."
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a
banana."
"Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs." -P.J. O'Rourke- "Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose
you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
"I used to think that I was poor. Then they told
me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating
to think of myself as needy, I was deprived. Then they told me deprived
was a bad image, I was underpriviledged. Then they told me underpriviledged
was overused, I was disadvantaged. I still don't have a dime. But I sure
have a great vocabulary."
"The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg
Address 286 words, and there are 1322 words in the Declaration of Independence.
Yet, government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words."
"On account of being a democracy and run by the
people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government
four years, no matter what it does."
"Politics would be a helluva good business if
it weren't for the goddamned people."
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government
and report the facts."
"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity." -Gilda Radner- "Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a
promissory note; today is the only cash you have. Spend it wisely."
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have
done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget
them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely
and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
"There is nothing permanent except change."
"It is not neccessary to change. Survival is not
mandatory."
"Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its
growth, but by washing away from it all that is not gold."
"If you gaze for long into the abyss, the abyss
also gazes into you."
"Death is nothing to us, since when we are, death
has not come, and when death has come, we are not."
"Most people are about as happy as they make up
their minds to be."
"The universe is full of magical things, patiently
waiting for our wits to grow sharper."
"What history teaches us is that we have never learned anything from it." -George Wilhelm Hegel- "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the
amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts."
"Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting
a fire."
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and
it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems
like a minute. That's relativity."
"One hour of right-down love Is worth an age of dully living on." -Aphra Behn- "Love seeketh not Itself to please, Nor for itself
hath any care, But for another gives it ease, And builds a Heaven in Hell's
despair."
"We are never so defenseless against suffering
as when we love."
"Love does not consist in gazing at each other,
but in looking outward together in the same direction."
"To fall in love is to create a religion that
has a fallible god."
"When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I am always tempted to ask "Compared to what?" " -Sydney J. Harris- "No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the
stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human
spirit."
"What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of
everything and the value of nothing..."
"Optimism, said Candide, is a mania for maintaining
that all is well when things are going badly."
"An optimist may see a light where there is none,
but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?"
"I am not a pessimist; to percieve evil where
it exists is, in my opinion, a form of optimism."
"Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper."
"Theater is life. Film is art. Television is furniture." -Unknown- "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
"The object of war is not to die for your country
but to make the other bastard die for his."
"Eat well, stay fit, die anyway."
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to
yield to it." "Duct tape is like The Force: it has a light side,
a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
"Float like a butterfly, sting like an ICBM."
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